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Overcoming Depression

Help and tips for getting over depression

Karin Stewart

Easily Offended!

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Are you easily offended? Do you get quickly upset when a person says something to you that you think they shouldn’t have said? The fact of the matter is that we really cannot control what other people say to us. We all say unintentionally hurtful things at times.

Before you fly off into a rage about what the person has said, give yourself a bit of time to cool down and put the situation back into perspective. A person struggling with depression might also magnify the severity of the offense. Shooting from the hip in retaliation is only going to make matters worse. The other person will then have to put up a defensive shield and start censoring everything they say, just to avoid fireworks from you again. This is called ‘walking on eggshells’. Having to second guess a person’s reaction to what you are about to say, is really not a good basis for a mutually satisfying relationship, is it?

  • Before you react, ask yourself if the other person is really wanting to harm you? If your answer is yes, then deal with the situation as politely as possible, explaining how what they said offended you. It is better to do this unemotionally.
  • If your answer to this question is no, you really don’t think the other person was intentionally trying to hurt you, then let it go. Give the comment wings and let it fly away!

It really is not worth making an otherwise good relationship bad because of one unintentionally offensive comment. You can even mentally place the comment in a bubble and watch it float away!

Dare To Be Loving!

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I found the 10 Questions posed to Lady Gaga in the Time magazine (March 12, 2012) quite inspiring so I’d like to share some of the content with you.

Lady Gaga has just launched the Born This Way Foundation to inspire bravery in young people as well as their parents and the worldwide culture. The Foundation aims to work towards a kinder and more accepting society.

Lady Gaga was bullied as a child for being ‘different’. All I can say is thank goodness we are all born different – imagine what a boring world this would be if we were all exactly the same! Being different is what makes this world exciting and actually grows us as ‘individuals’. But being different also opens one up to criticism and rejection. Not being like all the other sheep in the pen can be difficult! Often we find it is easier to criticize than to value and appreciate our differences.

The reporter asked Lady Gaga how an 11-year old girl could live our her idea. This was her reply. “She could go up to one person in class who maybe is not one of the cool kids and say, ‘I really like your T-shirt.’ That would be her one great loving and accepting deed for the day.”

And to the question of how she achieves so much. She gives much credit to the close relationship she has with her mother, but adds “one of the things I hope to impress upon everyone is that all it takes is just one person to believe in you.”

So my challenge to you is this. Don’t only affirm qualities in those people you consider to be cool, the ones you compliment hoping they’ll accept you in return. Affirm and compliment the ‘not-so-cool’ people, the underdog, those who battle to find their place in society. These are the people who need your words of encouragement so much.

And your children? And your spouse? You are in a particularly unique and special position to boost them, show them their incredible worth and love them to the fullest. To achieve great things, it takes just one person to believe in you.

Let us all aim to do one loving and accepting deed each day.

Richard Carlson ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff’ – A Book Review

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This is an excellent book of 100 short stories of ‘simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life‘. Each story is a very quick read of about 1 page. If you take it to heart and implement some of Carlson’s suggestions, your life will definitely change for the better!

“Spend a Moment Every Day Thinking of Someone to Thank“, is the title of one of the stories. Developing an attitude of gratitude not only changes our own lives but can make a tremendous difference in the lives of those we thank and appreciate. Gratitude and inner peace go hand in hand. Start the day thinking of the people you could show appreciation towards and thank. You can even make it into a sort of game. Do it and enjoy the response!

Think of your partner. How often do we just take those around us for granted. A bit of appreciation could so easily spiral the relationship upwards to a new level. What about your children? Thank the shop assistant, it could make their day as appreciation rather than a complaint could come as quite a surprise. Thank the person who lets you merge in the traffic. What about a special letter of appreciation – this could certainly lift someone’s spirits. Be creative!

It’s so easy for the mind to slip into negativity and this new attitude certainly counteracts this tendency. Focus on the good in life. It’s a very simple suggestion, but it’s a habit that is really worth developing. In fact it could be quite fun. Start the day by consciously deciding to find something to thank and appreciate in as many people as possible who cross your path. This is a good practical way of changing habits and a good one for anyone overcoming depression.

I’d love to hear what happens when you try this!

This very useful, and easily readable book is Available on Amazon

Be Happy!

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‘ I wish that I had let myself be happier’.

In a study on people facing death, this regret was surprisingly common. Many of the elderly in the study did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. Happiness comes from within, not from what happens to you.

Happiness all starts with your thoughts, your interpretation about the situation. Just think about it. Sad thoughts lead to a sad mood, even depression. Maybe even wanting to stay in bed all day, hidden under the duvet! A happy person with sad thoughts just doesn’t make sense, does it? A happy person has happy thoughts which results in ‘happy’ behavior!  So if you’re working on overcoming depression, ask yourself exactly what you are thinking that is making you depressed. Changing your thoughts, or getting a more realistic perspective on your thoughts could lift your depression. In psychological terms it’s called cognitive therapy, or therapy of the thoughts.

I remember clearly when my son decided to emigrate. As he left I felt sad and tearful because I’d miss him. Then I consciously decided to change my thoughts. This was his life and he was heading out into the future full of anticipation and excitement! There’s nothing sad about that and as I changed my thoughts happiness overtook me again!

If you’re prone to depression, try to look at your underlying thoughts. Try and change the way you view a particular situation. Look at the glass as half-full rather than half-empty. For every negative thought, try to find the opposite positive one.

What’s your greatest regret so far? Don’t end your life with the regret that you didn’t allow yourself to be happier. Be happy, laugh and be silly! Enjoy life, you really have only one chance!

To learn more about how to change the way your think, please click here for some more very helpful information.

Stay connected to friends!

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I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

This was listed as the 4th most common regret in a study of elderly folk facing death. If you know what you could regret at the end of your life, then you could do something about it now, couldn’t you?

We don’t need masses of friends. But we do all need a handful of good friends who we can mutually depend on, love and support.  It really is difficult to have a meaningful relationship with huge numbers of people. We are not meant to live as isolated beings but maintaining relationships also needs work. It requires time and effort from both sides.

About 25 years ago a very dear friend and I drifted apart. We went our different ways and gradually we stopped putting in the necessary relationship maintenance! Imagine my delight when I received a message from her through Facebook all these years later. The relationship has been restored. I’m sure many of you have also had similar experiences, and the ‘catching up’ can be such fun!

The elderly people in this study expressed many regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. They faced death missing their long lost friends.

Stay connected to friends! Think of a friend you’ve neglected and make a plan to rectify this during the coming week. It’s wonderful to journey your life with old friends with whom you have a shared history. Your friends need your friendship just as much as you need theirs!