Overcoming Depression

by 1 Comment

Victims attract Rescuers

Pamela Williams
Pamela Williams

I’ve just had the pleasure of reading Full Circle, a collection of South African short stories by Pamela Williams. Her stories are amusing and many of the quirky endings were unexpected and gave me a good laugh.

Many people who struggle with depression fall into the category of ‘victim’ or ‘rescuer’ . Victims attract rescuers. You might even recognize something of yourself in this story. Hope you enjoy it.

Should you wish to purchase a copy of this book, you may do so via my contact form. Thanks Pamela for allowing me to share this delightful story.

CRY POWER by Pamela Williams

Judged by any standard, my sister Julie would not have been numbered among all things bright and beautiful. Neither bright nor beautiful, perhaps, but rendered strangely powerful by the air of helplessness, of defencelessness, which she exuded. Read more…

 

by 1 Comment

Shirley, Goodness and Mercy

“Shirley, Goodness and Mercy” by Chris van Wyk is the fascinating childhood memoir of life in a Coloured township during the apartheid days in South Africa. It is well written and humorous. I can definitely recommend it particularly to all South Africans.

“One afternoon Greg comes home from school crying….

‘What’s the matter? asks his sister Kathy.
‘Arlene hit me.’
Arlene is Kathy’s age and they attend the same school. But that counts for nothing, it seems, when family honour is at stake. Kathy dons her fighting garb of shorts and T-shirt and prepares to stick up for her younger brother. She grabs Greg’s hand and storms off up the road to where Arlene stays. Kathy walks right in and delivers a couple of slaps to Arlene’s face and warns her to ‘Leave my brother alone!’

That evening Arlene’s dad comes to complain at the Van Wyks.
‘Is this true, Kathy?’ her father asks her.

That evening Kathy’s dad makes his daughter and son move a few dozen bricks from one place in the yard to another. This is punishment for slapping Arlene.

Greg sniffles and complains about what he sees as an injustice but Kathy says, ‘Don’t worry, they don’t realize that carrying bricks around just makes us stronger.’

Moral of the story : It’s all about perceptions, whether we see the glass as half-full or half-empty.

Do you identify with Greg sniffling and complaining how life is so unfair? Or can you see the situation from another perspective like Kathy? Carrying bricks, or facing up to difficulties can in the end make you stronger. All depends on attitude.

 

by 1 Comment

The down-side of being brilliant!

Have you ever thought
“if only…. I were thinner….then..
if only… I was richer…
if only … I was cleverer”?

We can waste our energy in this type of unproductive thinking but …

This past week I decided to read the book “A Short History of Nearly Everything” by Bill Bryson. My husband had bought the book so we had it at home. To be honest I wouldn’t have bought the book as it sounded too ‘intellectual’ for me, but seeing as we had it and I was hoping to get a bit cleverer, I started reading.

I’m a third of the way through, and am utterly amazed at how brilliant some people are, easily comprehending concepts like atoms, relativity and the universe. I think I’ll have to settle with accepting my limited intellect, but what I did enjoy were some of the personal stories of these scientists, and I want to share one of these with you.

Henry Cavendish (10 Oct 1731 – 24 Feb 1810)

Henry Cavendish was the son of Lord Cavendish and was born into a life of privilege. He attended Cambridge University from 1749 to 1753, but left without obtaining a degree. However he was one of the most gifted scientists of  his age, but also one of the strangest. He was the first to recognize hydrogen gas as a distinct substance. He also described the composition of water and made the first accurate measurement of the density of the Earth.

Now, that in my opinion, makes him intellectually brilliant!

However, he had his problems.
“He suffered from shyness to a ‘degree bordering on disease’. Any human contact was for him a source of the deepest discomfort. Once he opened his door to find an Austrian admirer, freshly arrived from Vienna, on the front step. Excitedly, the Austrian began to babble out praise. For a few moments Cavendish received the compliments as if they were blows given from a blunt object and then, unable to take any more, fled down the path and out the gate, leaving the front door wide open. It was some hours before he could be coaxed back to the property. Even his housekeeper communicated with him by letter.” (Bill Bryson: A Short History of Nearly Everything, p85).

“His female domestics had orders to keep out of sight, on pain of dismissal. His dinner he ordered daily by a note placed on the hall table.” (http://www.blupete.com/Literature/Biographies/Science/Cavendish.htm)

Lesson to be learnt

  • Stop looking at others with envy. We may see the brilliance of others, but seldom do we see their weaknesses. Start seeing the brilliance in yourself (even if it’s not academic!)
  • Stop saying “if only .. then…” Live your life in the ‘here and now’ because this is the reality you have. Only when you accept reality can you make a plan to change aspects you don’t like. A childhood refrain just popped into my mind – “Jealousy gets you nowhere!” – brains aren’t everything!

Click here to see the book “A Short History of Nearly Everything” on Amazon.

by Leave a Comment

Book Reviews

These book reviews are for some of my favorite books that I personally recommend.

David D. Burns - The New Mood Therapy
David D. Burns – The New Mood Therapy

David Burns, ‘Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy’

This is a Cognitive Behavior Therapy self-help book that has become my ‘internalized’ reference to most of what I write. The article on Psychological Aspects of Depression will give you more insights of the sort of things covered in this book. More … Highly Recommended!

Gail Sheehy - Passages
Gail Sheehy – Passages

Gail Sheehy, ‘Passages’.

It can be very empowering to have an understanding of all the stages that we go through as adults. It is not only children who go through developmental stages! More…

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Richard Carlson –  ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff’

This is an excellent book of 100 short stories of ‘simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life’. Each story is a very quick read of about 1 page. If you take it to heart and implement some of Carlson’s suggestions, your life will definitely change for the better! More …

I Can't Get Over It - A Handbook for Trauma Survivors
I Can’t Get Over It – A Handbook for Trauma Survivors

Aphrodite Matsakis – ‘I Can’t Get Over It, A Handbook for Trauma Survivors

This excellent book explains post-traumatic stress disorder. PTSD can be the after effect of crime, motor accidents, rape, family violence, family violence, sexual abuse and natural catastrophes. This book helps you identify the triggers and deal with the related problems such as depression and anxiety. Click here to visit my related post on surviving trauma.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross - 'On Death and Dying'
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross – ‘On Death and Dying’

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross – ‘On Death and Dying’

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (July 8, 1926 – August 24, 2004) was a Swiss American psychiatrist, who authored the groundbreaking book On Death and Dying.

She formulated the Kübler-Ross model which outlines the 5 stages of grief a person goes through when experiencing a loss.  Understanding these phases can enormously help the healing process as you don’t need to be overwhelmed by the many emotions and feeling that will come your way. Click here to read my article on the 5 Stages of Grief.

by 1 Comment

Richard Carlson ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff’ – A Book Review

This is an excellent book of 100 short stories of ‘simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life‘. Each story is a very quick read of about 1 page. If you take it to heart and implement some of Carlson’s suggestions, your life will definitely change for the better!

“Spend a Moment Every Day Thinking of Someone to Thank“, is the title of one of the stories. Developing an attitude of gratitude not only changes our own lives but can make a tremendous difference in the lives of those we thank and appreciate. Gratitude and inner peace go hand in hand. Start the day thinking of the people you could show appreciation towards and thank. You can even make it into a sort of game. Do it and enjoy the response!

Think of your partner. How often do we just take those around us for granted. A bit of appreciation could so easily spiral the relationship upwards to a new level. What about your children? Thank the shop assistant, it could make their day as appreciation rather than a complaint could come as quite a surprise. Thank the person who lets you merge in the traffic. What about a special letter of appreciation – this could certainly lift someone’s spirits. Be creative!

It’s so easy for the mind to slip into negativity and this new attitude certainly counteracts this tendency. Focus on the good in life. It’s a very simple suggestion, but it’s a habit that is really worth developing. In fact it could be quite fun. Start the day by consciously deciding to find something to thank and appreciate in as many people as possible who cross your path. This is a good practical way of changing habits and a good one for anyone overcoming depression.

I’d love to hear what happens when you try this!

This very useful, and easily readable book is Available on Amazon

Categories

Latest blog posts

Feeling Good By David Burns

This is the greatest 'value for money' self-help book ever. It changed my life forever and it can change yours! Available from Amazon David Burns

Need help for anxiety?

L- Theanine available from Amazon.coml-theanine image