Overcoming Depression

Help and tips for getting over depression

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True Joy in Life

George Bernard Shaw

 

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy”.

George Bernard Shaw

 

 

 

In other words, stop being self-absorbed, focus your energy and abilities on making a difference to the world around you!! Don’t expect the world to make you happy – you’ll be disappointed. Only you can make yourself happy, so if you’re unhappy, change your attitude and get involved in life.

The Critic – Theodore Roosevelt

The Critic - Theodore Roosevelt

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly  who errs and comes up short again and again … who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.” – Theodore Roosevelt

There is so much wisdom in this saying, the difficulty is where to start!

Some people seem to gain self-esteem by believing that they raise themselves up by putting down others. Not so! Look to the good in others and get involved in a worthy cause.  That’s the way to build yourself up rather than destroy relationships.

Gender Equality!

“Simply put, no society can truly flourish if it stifles the dreams and productivity of half its population” (Time magazine Oct.1, 2012:30). These are the words of ex-President Bill Clinton speaking about the five ways the world is getting better all the time.

For too long women’s dreams have been stifled, often due to the patriarchal structure of many societies. A successful woman is often viewed as a threat to a man. A misogynistic way of dealing with is to ‘put her in her place’ and ‘put her down’.

According to sociologist Allan G. Johnson, “Misogyny …. is a central part of sexist prejudice and ideology and, as such, is an important basis for the oppression of females in male-dominated societies. Misogyny is manifested in many different ways, from jokes to pornography to violence”.  No wonder many of these women battle with depression and anxiety. (See post on Blaming the Victim)

It’s interesting that young men who have no career ambitions often have the same fears as women with career ambitions. The fear is that no-one will want to marry them. A woman doesn’t want to marry a man with no career ambitions – she is looking for financial stability. And on the other hand many young men don’t want to marry a high-flying career woman because that can be seen as a threat to him!

According to Clinton, things are changing. There is worldwide evidence that women are gaining social and economic power that they never had before. This is good news for women as well as for society as a whole because it’s been proved that women tend to reinvest economic gains back into their families and communities more than men do. Clinton cites a modern trend of more women than men being enrolled in institutions of higher education globally. In South Africa where I live, figures show that 55% of all graduates are women.

Most women who have stayed at home to look after children go back to the workplace at about the age of 34 and will probably continue until retirement. This may be for financial reasons but more often a woman has a need to go out to work to make her mark in the world. There is many a man who sees his wife’s success as a personal threat, resulting in her having no emotional support as she tackles her new work venture into the world. She has to go it alone.

Message to the men

Encourage your partner to become the woman she is meant to be. Enjoy her successes and don’t conclude that her success reflects badly on you. Your support will enable her to fly! It’s not a competition but rather journeying alongside each other.

Message to the women

Be aware that your man might see your success as a threat. Encourage him to support you as your success will result in a happier ‘you’, a fulfilled ‘you’ which can only benefit him as well as your relationship in the long run. Show your appreciation to him as well -you’re partners not competitors in this life!

Paralympics 2012 London

“When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade!”

What a glib saying but this is the phrase that came to mind as I watched the opening ceremony of the London Paralympics. Tears came to my eyes as I thought of how these 4,200 Paralympians who, despite incredible handicaps, were setting out to achieve what seemed like the impossible.

I was mesmerized by the dancing of double amputee David Toole, aged 48. David is part of Candoco, a professional company of disabled and non-disabled dancers. This 3ft 2in tall dancer (with no legs) has traveled the world performing in different shows. He is also a successful actor. Absolutely amazing!

“Look up and break the glass ceiling and fly!” These were words spoken to Miranda.

“Look up to the stars, not to the ground!” These words were spoken by Professor Stephen Hawking, a man with one of the most brilliant minds ever. He certainly didn’t let his physical disabilities stop him from looking up to the stars and achieving greatness!.

So many people give up on life when faced with a handicap, whether physical or mental or an obstacle in life. Sometimes it’s easy to become a victim of circumstance. Looking at how these Paralympians have achieved despite all odds is truly inspirational.

Stephen Hawking:
“The Paralympic Games is also about transforming our perceptions of the world. We’re all different. There’s no such thing as a standard or ‘run of the mill’ human being but we share the same human spirit. What is important is that we have the ability to create.This creativity can take many forms from physical achievements to theoretical physics.

“However difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. The Games provide an opportunity for athletes to excel, to stretch themselves and become outstanding in their field. So let us together celebrate excellence, friendship and respect.

Good luck to you all!”

 

Road to Wisdom

 

“A man is getting along on the road to wisdom when he begins to realize that his opinion is just an opinion“. Author unknown.

The other day I was sorting through a notebook and found this quote. Wise words indeed! So often we put down our own opinions, criticize ourselves for even having aired our opinion, especially if the person we’re talking to disagrees with us. This is often an issue with low self-esteem so this could be an area that needs to be worked on.

An  opinion is just an opinion. It’s not right, nor wrong and you’re entitled to your own opinion no matter what others may say!

If you tend to be self-critical and automatically put yourself down for having said “the wrong thing”, just remind yourself that it’s fine to have an opinion different to others, after all it’s just an opinion! Stop the excuses and apologies.

“A wise man gives other people’s opinion as much weight as he does his own.” Author unknown.

Another quote I found. How respectful is this, to be so valued by the person you’re talking to. If, on the other hand, you tend to dismiss others opinions, remember this quote, you’ll certainly gain respect.

Related posts, written from different perspectives: Develop good self esteem and Achieving good self esteem

 

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