Anxiety | Overcoming Depression

Taking a leap forward!

Fearful of change? Fearful of failure? What holds you back from trying something new?

I live in South Africa and my one son lives in Taiwan. I love visiting him and his Taiwanese family… but language is a problem! You can only get so far with smiling, nodding and thumbs up signs. So last year I decided it was time to learn Mandarin. Alan from FluentU gave these insights into learning a new language. Whether it be a new language or any other skill you’re learning, bear these tips in mind – change the way you think and embrace life!

To succeed you need to develop what self-help gurus call a GROWTH MINDSET instead of a FIXED MINDSET.

The FIXED MINDSET says: “Are you sure you can do it? Maybe you don’t have the talent.”
The GROWTH MINDSET says: “Maybe I can’t do it now, but I can learn to with time and effort.”

The FIXED MINDSET says: “What if you fail? You’ll be a failure.”
The GROWTH MINDSET says: “Failures pave the way to success.”

The FIXED MINDSET says: “If you don’t try, you can protect yourself and keep your dignity.”
The GROWTH MINDSET says: “If I don’t try, I fail automatically. Where’s the dignity in that?”

It can be a very humbling experience learning something new because of a fear of failure. Learn to embrace and appreciate each mistake as a precious opportunity to improve. Learning from your mistakes, rather than allowing them to cripple you, puts you on a fantastic learning curve. Then start practicing your new skill as well as reminding yourself of your new growth mindset.

Start your Journey to Recovery

Serious about conquering depression? So glad you are because a better life does await you. But… getting there involves hard work, but well worth all the effort. Here I’ll share all the information you’ll need to set you on the road to recovery. Sound too good to be true? Well, all I can say is that the tips and techniques I’ll share with you on this website, worked for me and that’s why I want to share it with you. You might feel overwhelmed and that too is understandable. Faulty thinking is the root cause of depression, anxiety, anger and even perfectionism. It took many years for your thinking to develop into what it is today, so… depression recovery will take a while, but the main factor is determination, especially a determination not to give up.

Don’t feel overwhelmed!

I promise you there is light at the end of the tunnel, rather than the headlights of an oncoming train! Just the fact that you are reading this shows that you are serious about conquering depression. It really is a debilitating place to exist, so well done, let me walk with you on your journey to recovery.

Many people blame their depression on life events, or their upbringing, or their spouse. Does that sound familiar? The problem here is that you become a victim, depending on others for your happiness. Yes, bad things do happen to good people, but I’m sure you don’t want to live the miserable life of a victim. BE A SURVIVOR!

One step at a time

It’s a huge topic, so whenever I start to feel overwhelmed I just remind myself of “how do you eat an elephant?’ To which I reply ‘one bite at a time!’

Depression Recovery

Depression Symptoms

Have a look if you recognize yourself in these depression symptoms. You can evaluate the severity of your depression by filling in this Depression Inventory. Good idea to print yourself a copy so you can keep a regular check on how you are progressing. Please don’t hesitate to ask your doctor for medication – doing so is a sign of strength, not weakness. Don’t listen to friends who tell you not to take medication – these friends are usually quite ignorant about the medical aspects of depression. Depression isn’t just a psychological problem. It is also a physical illness that needs treatment.

Chemical Imbalance

Many people blame their depression on having a chemical imbalance. Yes, that’s true… BUT usually not the only cause. Take the medication but also learn to change the way you think. Stressful thoughts lead to the chemical imbalance and so learning to change the way you think will help sort out the chemical imbalance.

Book recommendations

My all time favorite book for overcoming depression is Feeling Good – A New Mood Therapy by David Burns. If I had to recommend only one book on depression, this would be it – it changed my life and could do the same for you. Follow my link to Amazon for this book as well as a selection of his other books.

David D. Burns – The New Mood Therapy

For more of my book recommendations click here.

Buried Memories

“Something in us prevents us from remembering when remembering proves to be too difficult or painful … We are not entirely successful because the memory is buried within us and influences every moment of our growth. Sometimes it breaks through the prison and strikes at us directly and painfully.” Paul Tillich

Paul Johannes Tillich (August 20, 1886 – October 22, 1965) was a German-American Christian existentialist philosopher and theologian. Tillich is widely regarded as one of the most influential theologians of the 20th century. He is best known for his works The Courage to Be (1952) and Dynamics of Faith (1957), which introduced issues of theology and modern culture to the general public.

You know that feeling when you say or do something that just doesn’t seem ‘like you’. Use this as an opportunity to delve beneath the surface and dig out that memory that could have triggered your reaction. If if you’re totally unaware to the memory, it still affects how you behave. Use the opportunity to ask yourself what belief or what past experience could trigger your present behavior.

Dig out the roots! This is the way to change and self-understanding.

Paul Tillich – The Courage to Be is available on Amazon.

Book Reviews

These book reviews are for some of my favorite books that I personally recommend.

David D. Burns – The New Mood Therapy

David Burns, ‘Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy’

This is a Cognitive Behavior Therapy self-help book that has become my ‘internalized’ reference to most of what I write. The article on Psychological Aspects of Depression will give you more insights of the sort of things covered in this book. More … Highly Recommended!

Gail Sheehy – Passages

Gail Sheehy, ‘Passages’.

It can be very empowering to have an understanding of all the stages that we go through as adults. It is not only children who go through developmental stages! More…

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Richard Carlson – ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff’

This is an excellent book of 100 short stories of ‘simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life’. Each story is a very quick read of about 1 page. If you take it to heart and implement some of Carlson’s suggestions, your life will definitely change for the better! More …

I Can’t Get Over It – A Handbook for Trauma Survivors

Aphrodite Matsakis – ‘I Can’t Get Over It, A Handbook for Trauma Survivors

This excellent book explains post-traumatic stress disorder. PTSD can be the after effect of crime, motor accidents, rape, family violence, family violence, sexual abuse and natural catastrophes. This book helps you identify the triggers and deal with the related problems such as depression and anxiety. Click here to visit my related post on surviving trauma.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross – ‘On Death and Dying’

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross – ‘On Death and Dying’

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (July 8, 1926 – August 24, 2004) was a Swiss American psychiatrist, who authored the groundbreaking book On Death and Dying.

She formulated the Kübler-Ross model which outlines the 5 stages of grief a person goes through when experiencing a loss. Understanding these phases can enormously help the healing process as you don’t need to be overwhelmed by the many emotions and feeling that will come your way. Click here to read my article on the 5 Stages of Grief.

Facing your giants

Face your giants and conquer your fear!

Once upon a time in a far-off valley there lived some people. These people never dared to move from their valley because whenever they tried to by climbing the surrounding hills, they were met by a huge giant who roared at them most ferociously. They were so petrified that they ran back into their valley as fast as ever their legs could carry them …. determined never to venture over the hills again.

This had been going on for hundreds of years until one day, a new and brave king was chosen from among them. And he thought to himself, ‘This just isn’t good enough! We never meet new people, never develop our trade and never make new friends. Indeed we are becoming very dull, ignorant and boring.’ The new king decided to venture out of the valley and over the hills all by himself in spite of all dangers that he’d heard about. He set off with some feelings of trepidation and expected the giant to appear at any moment. Sure enough the giant appeared, horribly enormous and roaring most ferociously.

However, instead of running away as all of his people had done before, the king took one step forward. To his amazement the giant became one inch shorter. This encouraged the king and so he and so he took another step forward. Eventually, when the king came right up to the giant he was so small that the king could hold him in his hand. The king then asked the giant his name. The giant replied. ‘My name is fear.‘

The moral of the story?

Face your fears as that’s the only way to get rid of them. Avoidance maintains the anxiety and keeps you living in the valley rather than on the mountain-tops of life. Ask yourself, do you want to be like the King or the villagers?