Are you easily offended? Do you get quickly upset when a person says something to you that you think they shouldn’t have said? The fact of the matter is that we really cannot control what other people say to us. We all say unintentionally hurtful things at times.
Before you fly off into a rage about what the person has said, give yourself a bit of time to cool down and put the situation back into perspective. A person struggling with depression might also magnify the severity of the offense. Shooting from the hip in retaliation is only going to make matters worse. The other person will then have to put up a defensive shield and start censoring everything they say, just to avoid fireworks from you again. This is called ‘walking on eggshells’. Having to second guess a person’s reaction to what you are about to say, is really not a good basis for a mutually satisfying relationship, is it?
- Before you react, ask yourself if the other person is really wanting to harm you? If your answer is yes, then deal with the situation as politely as possible, explaining how what they said offended you. It is better to do this unemotionally.
- If your answer to this question is no, you really don’t think the other person was intentionally trying to hurt you, then let it go. Give the comment wings and let it fly away!
It really is not worth making an otherwise good relationship bad because of one unintentionally offensive comment. You can even mentally place the comment in a bubble and watch it float away!
nicola says
the saying count to ten before reacting would also work in this situation.