Do you have friends or family who constantly try to fix you up? Or are you one of those friends? This is called ‘help addiction’ because you can’t resist the urge to fix someone up. At times I just want to express my feelings and then my friend jumps in, boots and all, telling me what I should do. Yes, there’s that horrible ‘should’ word again (Faulty Thinking Patterns). This really doesn’t make for a good relationship as I think twice before I share with friends like that. I can’t be myself and relax.
Help addiction is an attitude that prevents you from listening, because all you’re doing is waiting for a gap in the conversation to turn the conversation back to yourself and what you think. This is so frustrating for the person who just wants their feelings heard and acknowledged. If this sounds like you, take a breath before you blurt out your advice. Think about how that person is feeling and reflect that back to them. ‘It sounds like…..you’re quite angry, resentful etc. You’ll be surprised at how your relationships will improve. Communication will improve as you’re showing respect for the other person and showing a belief in them that they can work out their own problem.
If you really can’t resist giving some advice, first ask if they want your advice because that is also showing respect.
Hope this helps!
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