The belief that has been instilled in the child that has been brought up with constant criticism is that nothing they ever do is good enough, so why try, when you’re just going to fail.
But then their own children arrive on the scene…
And they certainly don’t want their own children to have this same sense of inadequacy. Being unfamiliar with unconditional love these parents do to their own children what their parents did to them. They criticize them in an attempt to improve them. And so the cycle passes down from one generation to the next.
SO WHAT CAN YOU DO?
If this seems to sum up how you’re feeling it’s time to take stock of your life.
- Try to figure out why your parents were so critical – look to their own upbringing.
- The reality of parents is that they are not God. They make mistakes and have feelings of inadequacies, despite how they might come across. Forgive them for being imperfect.
- Try to work out what faulty believes you are carrying around with you making your life miserable.
- Assess if these beliefs are worth holding onto – you can let them go.
- Any good story has a consistent beginning, middle and end. Your life story also needs to make sense. The good news is that you can re-script the rest of your life and discard the unwanted baggage that you took on when you were an innocent child.
Click here to read more about how parenting can be a factor in children developing depression later in life.