Overcoming Depression

  • Home
  • Start here
  • Depression
    • Depression Symptoms
    • Depression: a Physical Illness?
    • Cognitive Therapy
    • Mood Analysis
    • Faulty Thinking Patterns
    • Postoperative Depression
    • Teenage Depression and Suicide
    • Achieving Good Self-Esteem
    • Get Rid of Guilt
    • Book Reviews
  • Anxiety
    • Types of Anxiety Disorders
    • First Aid for Panic Attacks
    • Tips for Overcoming Anxiety
    • Myths about Panic Attacks
    • Anxiety Relaxation Technique
    • Anxiety and love
    • Locus of Control
  • Stress
    • Stressed out?
    • Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale
    • Stress Relief Activities
    • Stress and Pregnancy
    • Stress Hives
    • Tips to Beat Exam Stress
    • Reduce Work Related Stress
    • How to cope when you’re looking for work
    • Winning when you lose
    • Crises of Adult Life
  • Alcohol Abuse
    • Codependent Checklist
    • Marriage and alcohol
    • Stress and Alcohol
  • Relationships
    • 5 Tips for Restoring a hurting marriage
    • Signs of an Abusive Relationship
    • Our Birth Family
    • 6 Common Human Needs!
    • 5 Stages of Grief
      • Helping a grieving friend
    • Overcoming Loneliness
    • Successfully deal with anger and criticism
  • Trauma
    • Trauma Survivor
    • Blaming the Victim
  • About Me
    • Contact Me
  • Blog

October 5, 2012 by Karin Stewart Leave a Comment

Stop pretending!

I always find people’s life stories interesting, especially when they succeed despite all odds. What lessons can we learn from them? The story of the actor Joaquin Phoenix (Time magazine-October 1 2012), struck me as such a story.

Phoenix’s parents were missionaries with the hippie cult Children of God. They moved around a lot and when they moved to Caracas they cut ties with the cult and ended up facing crushing poverty. To start again, the family stowed away on a cargo ship to Florida. Can you imagine being so desperate as to do this with five children! The family later moved to Los Angeles. where they changed their surname to Phoenix, a symbol of new hope, a new start, “rising out of the ashes”.

When their mother found a secretarial job at NBC she sought out auditions for her older children who were already experienced street performers. “We all used to sing and play music, and we were all very outgoing. My parents always encouraged us to express ourselves. And so it seemed like second nature to start acting,” said Phoenix.

Phoenix loved being a child actor. After a break during his teens he returned to a fully fledged acting career with films such as ‘To Die For’ (1995), ‘Walk the Line’ (2005), ‘I’m Still Here’ (2012), ‘The Master’ (2012).

Celebrities can go to enormous lengths to keep up appearances, ensuring that the public never see them looking stupid. Phoenix went to the other extreme, inviting opportunities to look stupid.

“Once I became a total buffoon, it was so liberating,” he says. “Part of why I was frustrated with acting was because I took it so seriously. I want it to be so good that I get in my own way. It’s like love:when you fall in love, you’re not yourself anymore. You lose control of being natural and showing the beautiful parts of yourself, and all somebody recognizes is this total desperation. And that’s very unattractive.”

Phoenix also supports a number of causes. One of these causes is the Lunchbox Fund, which gives healthy meals to children in need.

I can think of several lessons that we can learn from the life of Phoenix.:

  • Never give up hope even when life seems hopeless. Keep looking forward.
  • Look at your abilities and use the talents you have. “Invent yourself with the ingredients you already have.”
  • Be thankful for family and friends who open doors for you. Don’t be stubbornly independent, you don’t know what opportunities you might miss out on. We’re meant to be interdependent.
  • Encourage your children and don’t criticize them. Experience is the best lesson in life.
  • Stop pretending to be someone you’re not. Accept yourself, ‘warts and all’ because that’s truly liberating. Pretending just takes up too much precious energy! If you think people won’t like you if they know what you’re really like, give and go! Test your belief and see if it’s true.
  • Give back to the community. We can’t just be ‘takers’ in this life. We need to give back to the community as well.

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: be yourself, Joaquin Phoenix

Recent Posts

  • Psychological withdrawal for addicts
  • Need to be needed
  • Why You Can’t Rescue an Addict
  • Your words have power
  • Taking a leap forward!

Like Me on Facebook

Facebook

Categories

  • addiction
  • Alcohol
  • Anger
  • Anxiety
  • Approval
  • Attitude
  • Bible
  • Blog
  • Book Review
  • Depression
  • Perfectionism
  • Relationships
  • slider
  • Stress
  • Success
  • Thinking
  • Uncategorized
  • Work

Tags

Abraham Lincoln addiction alcohol Andrew Verster Anger anxiety approval be creative be yourself Bill Clinton change your thinking cognitive therapy depression Dora Taylor drugs encouragement fight or flight forgiveness friends funny George Bernard Shaw guilt honesty hope interference J.K. Rowling Jared Diamond Collapse Joaquin Phoenix John Gurdon Joy Laurence Olivier life with purpose love nagging perfectionism perseverance poetry self-esteem shyness stress success trauma try again women workaholic

Comments

  • tony deyn on Facing your giants
  • Veronica Frances Watkins on The real definition of relapse and why it matters
  • Roger Johanson on The old farmer and his horse
  • Veronica Frances Watkins on The old farmer and his horse
  • Karin Stewart on Victims attract Rescuers

Archives

Categories

Latest blog posts

  • Psychological withdrawal for addicts
  • Need to be needed
  • Why You Can’t Rescue an Addict
  • Your words have power
  • Taking a leap forward!
  • Nagging your partner really doesn’t help!
  • The real definition of relapse and why it matters
  • The old farmer and his horse

Feeling Good By David Burns

This is the greatest 'value for money' self-help book ever. It changed my life forever and it can change yours! Available from Amazon David Burns

Need help for anxiety?

L- Theanine available from Amazon.coml-theanine image

Copyright © 2020 · Executive Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it.Accept