Tag Archives: life with purpose

President Obama on ‘being perfect’

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Obama Arrives In New York

President Obama on ‘being perfect’

On ‘Being perfect’

‘We were never sent here to be perfect. We were sent here to make what difference we can’.

These words were spoken by President Obama, during the State of the Union address, urging Congress to take up measures dealing with such issues as gun control, climate change and investment in infrastructure.

Forget about being perfect – it’s a waste of precious energy. Do whatever you can to the best of your ability and you will make a difference in your world.


The Critic – Theodore Roosevelt

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The Critic - Theodore Roosevelt

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly  who errs and comes up short again and again … who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.” – Theodore Roosevelt

There is so much wisdom in this saying, the difficulty is where to start!

Some people seem to gain self-esteem by believing that they raise themselves up by putting down others. Not so! Look to the good in others and get involved in a worthy cause.  That’s the way to build yourself up rather than destroy relationships.


It’s not about YOU!

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The boss shouts at you and your mood goes south! Sound familiar? So why does it affect your mood so badly?

For a start we don’t like making mistakes and being shouted at, but hey, that’s life. We learn when we make mistakes. But our biggest mistake is then jumping to the conclusion that we are personally a failure. Your behavior doesn’t reflect who you are as a person. Actions and self-image are two different things but so often we let them contaminate each other.

It’s not about YOU!!

Abraham Lincoln knew this lesson (Time magazine – November 5, 2012). Lincoln never confused his mission with himself. He never allowed his enemies to pull down his self-esteem. “Lincoln had the hide of a rhinoceros and a rare ability to set the past aside when turning former enemies into allies“. In other words, he kept his focus on his goals and the plans to achieve those goals. His self-esteem never entered the picture and remained intact whatever happened. “To Lincoln a grudge was a waste of resources. If a person could be useful, it mattered little whether he was  friend or foe”.

Some lessons to be learnt:

  • Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you’re a mistake because you made a mistake. We learn from our mistakes. Develop the hide of a rhinoceros.
  • Don’t hold grudges. They’re a waste of time and energy.  Can you think of anyone you’re holding a grudge against? Forgive them, not for their sake but your own. Why let the unnecessary weight of unforgiveness drag you down. Be quick to forgive.
  • Focus on your goals and make a plan to achieve them.

Have a good week!

 


The Power of Words – Sir John Gurdon – Nobel Prize winner

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In the beginning God spoke the Universe into being. “And God said, ‘Let there be light, and there was light…’” (Genesis 1).

Words are powerful – once spoken they’re out in the open and there’s no way you can make them disappear. Some people can be really nasty and mean but if you believe that the nasty words spoken to you are true, you will make them come true. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. However you can also choose to reject those words as untrue and not let them take away your dreams.

2012 Nobel Prize in Medicine

This prestigious award was recently given to Britain’s Sir John Gurdon and the Japanese Scientist Dr Shinya Yamanaka for their groundbreaking work in stem-cell research.

What really fascinated me was Gurdon’s story of his school experience. Gurdon proved that teachers don’t always know the truth!

Gurdon’s schoolboy ambition was to become a scientist.

“Quite ridiculous” said his Eton schoolmaster. “I believe Gurdon has ideas about becoming a scientist; on his present showing this is quite ridiculous; if he can’t learn simple biological facts, he would have no chance of doing the work of a specialist, and it would be a sheer waste of time, both on his part and of those who would have to teach him.”

There is power in the spoken word and that year, Gurdon scored the lowest mark for biology in his year at Eton. “Out of 250 people, to come bottom of the bottom form is quite something, and in a way the most remarkable achievement I could have been said to make,” said Gurdon.

Gurdon framed the old school report which is now a browning scrap of paper as a reminder. It keeps him humble when an experiment doesn’t work out!

What can we learn from this?

What God speaks will come into being but … teachers and parents? No, not necessarily. Children often think adults are God-like and what they speak is the truth, but they’re not. They make mistakes and get things wrong.

Can you think of some nasty or destructive things that were said to you as a child that still impact on your life? Time to throw them out and live the life that you are meant to live.

Read more on the work of Gurdon and Yamanaka at http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2012/oct/08/nobel-prize-briton-science-teacher


Golden Rule of Compassion

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“Look into your own heart, discover what it is that gives you pain and then refuse, under any circumstance whatsoever, to inflict that pain on anybody else.” Karen Armstrong.

The other evening I was watching a TED talk given by Karen Armstrong, a religious thinker and author. “Don’t do anything to another person that you wouldn’t like them to do to you” is how she coined the Golden Rule of Compassion.

Golden Rule of Compassion

All the world’s religions have a common thread that emphasize selflessness, empathy and community. They all have the Golden Rule of Compassion as a core value. However, too often this common thread ceases to be the focus of religion. Instead of compassion, which centers on the other person, we become selfish and place ‘the self’ at center stage. It becomes all about ‘me’. When that happens believers often act in opposition to the core message of their faith resulting in nonbelievers blaming religion as the source of many of the world’s problems. The ‘self’ needs to be dethroned. If we don’t dethrone ‘the self’, the battle becomes one of being right rather than being compassionate. Fundamentalists of any religion want to be right and have to show the other as being wrong.

Common Religious Thread

HINDU religion: “This is the sum of duty: do naught to others which if done to thee would cause thee pain”. The Mahabharata

BUDDHIST religion: “Hurt not others with that which pains yourself”. Udana-Varga

JEWISH religion: “What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow men. That is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary”. Rabbi Helal

MUSLIM religion: “No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself”. Hadith

BAHA’I faith: “He should not wish for others that which he doth not wish for himself, nor promise that which he doth not fulfill”. The Book of Certitude

CHRISTIAN religion: “Do unto others as you would want them to do to you”. The Bible,

Do Good
The teaching of Jesus encourages us to proactively do good, to love and to show compassion, to do good deeds. However, it’s often easier to do nothing. When we do nothing we become self-centered and are guilty of the sin of omission, of not doing that which we ought to have done. We don’t feel too bad because we actually haven’t hurt the other person. But is that true? The other person might just have needed our encouragement to get through a difficult patch … Think of words of love and encouragement that spurred you into becoming the person you are, words that made you believe in yourself when you couldn’t. So not showing love, compassion can actually cause the other person harm.

The Golden Rule of Compassion as given by Armstrong, as well as all the other religions I  listed, focus on the negative. “Do NOT do anything to another people, that you don’t wish them to do to you.” Hearing these words, my mind started wondering, not to the good things I should do to another person, but what we shouldn’t be doing, to the negative harmful things we do to each other. My eyes were opened and I felt shock at the atrocities that are done in the name of religion, in the name of a loving God. These could be called the sins of commission, where we intentionally harm another.

If we took this Golden Rule of Compassion seriously there would be:

  • no suicide bombers
  • no attacks between Christians and Muslims as seen in Africa
  • no hate speech of “I’m right and you’re wrong”
  • no hate speech towards any minority group
  • no slandering
  • no bitchiness
  • no …… (fill in the gap)

No one individual can change the world but many individuals working on the same agenda can.

“Look into your own heart, discover what it is that gives you pain and then refuse, under any circumstance whatsoever, to inflict that pain on anybody else.”

That is the kind of action that could change the world.

 


Living a True Life!

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‘I wish I’d been courageous enough to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me’.

This is the most common regret people have as they reach the end of their lives. Isn’t it true that many of us worry excessively about what other people might think about us. How often did we hear parents say ‘don’t do that, what will other people think about you’. No wonder the world abounds with people pleasers! We all want to be accepted and loved, so we behave in a particular way just to get the approval of others.

The stress of being a people pleaser often ends up in depression. Really not surprising, is it? Trying to please everyone is inevitably going to lead straight down the road to failure. You simply can’t be successful living according to someone else’s expectations! To live an authentic life, you have to live a life true to yourself.

Don’t depend on other people for affirmation. Look inside yourself for what is right. Rather seek affirmation from the Lord.

In Jeremiah 17:5-8 (ESV) the Lord tells us why:

“Cursed is the man who trusts in man
and makes flesh his strength,
whose heart turns away from the Lord.
He is like a shrub in the desert,
and shall not see any good come.
He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,
in an uninhabited salt land.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

When you meet the Lord one day he is not going to congratulate you on living a life that others expected of you. He will ask why you didn’t live like the person He made you to be!

 


You have a Bigger Purpose in Life!

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Yesterday evening my family and I went to see the delightfully magical 3D movie ‘Hugo‘. What a treat! Hugo is an orphan living on his own in the clock towers of the Paris railway station. He spends his time fixing things, especially mechanical things that run on cogs and wheels.

A new friend asks him how he manages to live on his own. And he replies something like, ‘I see the earth, the same way as I see a machine. A machine comes with the exact right parts to make it work perfectly. Each part is important and there are no spare parts.’ Despite living in what most people would regard as an extremely hopeless situation, Hugo lives with hope. He knows he isn’t a ‘spare part’.  He is meant to be here on earth, just because he has been created. He knows he has an important part to play, but what it is he has still to find out.

What a lesson for all of us! I’ve sometimes heard very despondent people saying that they’re just wasting oxygen! Each of us is so very important. Just because we are created beings means we have a special place on this planet. When you’re feeling down, or disheartened, just remember how very special you are. You were created with a part to play in the bigger picture of this place, called earth.

A proverb in the Bible says that without vision, man perishes! Guard your self-esteem, believe that you are special, because that belief will affect how you live out your life.


Charles Dickens on Hardship

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Charles Dickens

Charles Dickens – Worldwide,  people are celebrating the bicentenary of the birth of this very famous author. At the time he was writing there were only 60 books in print in England! (Time magazine February 6 2012) What a difference to modern times, where books no longer even go ‘out of print’ because of electronic text!

Dickens wrote stories of poverty, hardship, and even about a debtors prison. What interested me in particular was his final bit of legacy. He appointed his friend Forster to write his biography after his death. He felt so ashamed of his upbringing that he didn’t want his readers to know that it was his own life that inspired his writing, until after he died. The books were essentially about him. So after his death, this shock was revealed to his readers. He had seen his own father go to debtors jail and Dickens himself worked in a factory as a child.

What a story of a man who overcame adversity. So many people become a victim of their past, or their bad life experiences. Not so with Dickens. He used his bad experiences to create a better future. Only a person who really knew what hardship was like could so vividly portray the community of that time. What an example to follow.

So many people go through life with a victim mentality, an ‘if only’ mentality. ‘If only’ I had more money, then …. ‘if only’ my partner were nicer to me, then ….  and nothing comes after ‘then’… They have become victims of their past.

Try to think of the ‘if only ….’ attitudes that could be keeping you a victim of your circumstances, of your past. Change ‘if only …’ to something like ‘it would be nice if….’ and then get back to reality, creating a better future for yourself with what you have. ‘If only’ statements keep you focused on what you don’t have, rather than what you do have.

If you’ve experienced many difficulties, you’re the expert! Turn it around for good and use it to help others through their hard times!