Interpreting Your Dysfunction Attitude Scale Scores
Approval
10 – 20 indicates good sense of your own worth even when you are criticized or disapproved of
0 – 10 indicates you are vulnerable as you evaluate yourself through the eyes of others. Your emotional well-being is very sensitive to what you imagine others think of you. Therefore easily manipulated and vulnerable to anxiety and depression when others criticize you.
Anxiety stems from the belief that you have no right to express your feelings or needs. Maybe you have been put down for expressing your feelings and needs and will need to practice. If your spouse puts you down and criticizes your emotions, reassure yourself that you have the right to express these needs and any bad mood that results is not your problem. If as a spouse you criticise your spouses feelings, then stop doing so.
You can’t say no – a people pleaser.
A faulty thinking pattern could be that you expect your spouse to mind-read what your needs are. Need to practice expressing your needs Problem is that there is no internal peace, which is the peace that the Lord gives you. Very needy but deny own needs.
Proverbs 29:25 says that
Love
10 – 20 See love as desirable but not a requirement for happiness. Have a wide range of interests. Self love is attractive to others.
0 – 10 See love as needed for survival. The higher the score is to ? 10 the more dependent on love you are. You put yourself down in relationships with people you care about, to keep them liking you. This neediness can backfire and intensify the loneliness.
Someone who is seeking love but unconsciously believes himself to be unlovable, might test the relationships to the limit until he is rejected, confirming that he is unlovable, confirming his self image. Or he might overwhelm the recipient of his love with so much attention that it becomes stifling for the other person and they bale out of the relationship – confirming his self-image. Your behaviour always matches your self-image. You might seek out people who are not available or who are a bit rejecting because you might unconsciously think that there is something wrong with a person who just accepts you as you are – it doesn’t match your self-image.
Maybe an applicable scripture verse is the one ‘love your neighbour as yourself – you need to work on the self-love.
Achievement
10 – 20 You enjoy creativity and productivity, but its not necessary to self?esteem and satisfaction.
0 – 10 Indicates a workaholic with self?worth based on productivity. Might have emotional crash on retirement, or when business slumps. Die 6 months after retirement.
Perfectionism
10 – 20 You get satisfaction from processes and experiences, not fixed on outcomes. See mistakes as learning experiences. Usually more productive than a perfectionist.
0 – 10 You drive yourself but satisfaction is small. Life becomes a joyless, tedious treadmill as you are living with unrealistic, impossible standards and need to re?evaluate them.
Mistakes are taboo and negative emotions a disaster. Children learn that negative emotions are bad and as adults pass this attitude on to their children. The children don’t feel unconditional acceptance. In relationships the word ’should’ comes up frequently, as you provide solutions to any problem rather than just listening to how the other person is feeling and accepting them as they are. You want to fix things up. Unfortunately, although your intentions are honourable they can leave the other person feeling very rejected. In effect you are saying that if you live your life as I tell you to, all will be well, implying that you would be better at running your life. Should statements always lead to anger and resentment (who says I must or should?). Things are black or white. Need to replace should statements with ‘it would be nice if…
Entitlement
10-20 You negotiate for what you want and often get it. You don’t expect good deeds to be reciprocated and have a high frustration level. You often end up ahead of the pack.
0-10 You feel entitled to things like love, success, happiness. You expect and demand that others meet your wants because of your inherent goodness or hard work. When it doesn’t happen you get irate or depressed and feel inadequate. Much energy in being frustrated, sad and mad. Lots of ‘should’ statements here as well.
Omnipotence
10-20 You know that you are not in control of other adults and are not responsible for them but only for yourself This attitude draws you to others. You give people a sense of freedom and dignity because you have relinquished any attempt to control them. You get love, admiration and respect from others.
0-10 You blame yourself inappropriately for the negative actions and attitudes of others who are not really under your control. Guilt and self?condemnation common and the feeling of being all?powerful cripples you and leaves you anxious and ineffectual. Look at what are you really responsible for.
Autonomy
10-20 You find happiness within yourself. You take responsibility for your feelings because you know they are created by you. Life becomes exciting.
0 – 10 You are trapped in the belief that your potential for joy and self esteem comes from the outside. This puts you at a great disadvantage because everything outside is ultimately beyond your control. Your moods end up the victim of external factors. Blame others for your unhappiness. (Paul in the Bible could be happy in chains.)
Ask yourself
- Is it to my advantage to maintain this particular belief?
- Is this belief really true and valid?
- What steps can I take that will allow me to rid myself of attitudes that are self-defeating and unrealistic, and substitute others that are more objective and more self-enhancing?